dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
