i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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