You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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