There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
