I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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