So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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