TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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