i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
