i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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