i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
