Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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