I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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