So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize
