i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
