Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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