worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize