im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
