wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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