and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
