i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
where are my eyebrows?
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
