And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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