Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
