After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
im holly from the hills drunk
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
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