sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
