I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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