his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
