I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Less talking, more tequila
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
