Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
