I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Randomize
