I wanna bring you to show and tell
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
