There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
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