i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize