We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
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