i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Randomize
