you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
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