sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
