We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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