my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
