i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Randomize