I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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