Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
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