My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
