we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Randomize
