I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
