I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
i now understand why vodka
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
