so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
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