he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
