Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
