So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize