after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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