Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
