just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I am mentally ready for anal.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
