I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
