Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
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