would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
