Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Randomize
