you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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